Banner Salutes Foster Parents

October 22, 2002 permalink

The following article, and editorial, in the Orangeville Banner, salute two foster couples in Dufferin County. No contrary view appears anywhere in the article. It even characterized reunification with birth parents as a tragedy. One of these foster families took in the girl we identify as Sophie. The family viewed the foster home as a purgatory from which escape was required at all costs. Sophie ran away from the home, and had to be restrained with psychotropic drugs.

Love for children, desire to help leads two couples to fostering

By NELIA RAPOSO, Banner Staff Writer

Two of the most important men in her life -- her husband and her brother -- are adopted, so it's only natural that Nathalie Plouffe would want to be a foster mom.

Plouffe and her husband, Michel Vachon, who have three children of their own ages 6, 7 and 12, have been fostering for about a year.

Originally they had talked about adopting but then they decided that fostering was the way to go. Plouffe says by fostering they are helping more young people.

"We love children", she says. "The kids are all in school and I wanted to work. This is my work".

Over the last year the couple have opened their doors to nine teenagers.

The couple requested that they only get teenagers from the Dufferin Child and Family Services.

"With babies you have to get up in the middle of the night and I'm past that stage", Plouffe says.

"To teenagers you become more like friends", says Vachon, an insulation sub-contractor.

He says teenagers don't need parents, they need mentors. Besides, they say, neither of them could bear to give back a young child or baby after parenting them for even a week.

Glen and Joan Smith know what that's like.

"I fell in love with one baby and the judge said she had to go back (to her birth parent). I didn't think she should", says Glen. "That's really the downest side of it. Sometimes you get 15 minutes to pack them from the time the court lets out.

The Smith's have been foster parents for about seven years.

They began when their youngest child was finishing high school; and their other three children were already adults making their own way in the world.

Joan, who had always wanted to be a foster mom, figured this was the time to do it.

But Glen, a truck driver, wasn't so sure. After convincing her husband, the couple went through a year of training before Joan quit her job as a personal support worker and took on the job of full-time mom.

"It wasn't easy. I wasn't ready to have a family again", Glenn says.

But now he wouldn't change his role for the world.

Even though there are painful moments when a child has to leave their home, Glen says the happy moments far outweigh the sad.

"One little guy said he'd changed his name to our last name", Glen says. "You feel like you're their parents".

When one of his sons comes home for the weekend, he says you can bet that one of the "little guys" at their house will be outside helping him work on the car.

In some cases kids that have moved on call their former foster parents to see how they're doing. "They call to see if we're still here", says Vachon. "I think it's a security thing for them".

"Any child that has been in your home no matter where they are still hold a piece of our heart", says Joan.

"We're a couple of steps higher than the Block Parents. We're full-time parents for kids whose parents can't do it at the moment", says Glen. "If somebody doesn't step in what's going to happen to those few that didn't get attention".

This week is Canadian Foster Family Week. There are about 40 foster families in Dufferin County but a spokesperson for the local children's aid says 40 more are needed. There are over 100 children in the system in Dufferin County.

"The more homes you have the more personalities you have to match the child's needs to", says Diane Maloney of DCFS.

Maloney says it is not necessary to have a stay-at-home parent to qualify as a foster family. For more information call (519) 941-1530.

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Tuesday, October 22, 2002, Editorial Comment

Care and commitment

It's a tribute to the caring and commitment of foster parents like Nathalie Plouffe and Michel Vachon, and Jean and Glen Smith that when they were interviewed about their work, they focused on the positive.

Although they probably could have told stories about caring for children with behavioral problems or lives interrupted by late-night arrivals -- they instead chose to talk about bonds that last beyond a child's stay with phone calls and the rewards of becoming a mentor to needy teenagers.

These couples are just two examples of ordinary people who are doing the extraordinary -- taking children into their home, often on short notice, and offering them care and a nurturing environment for a few days, months, weeks or even years.

And they are filling a need that continues to grow.

According to the Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies statistics, there has been a 36 per cent increase in children in care in the province from 1998 to 2001; a 44 per cent increase in the cost of days in care; and a 35 per cent increase in staff. However there has been only a 29 per cent increase in foster parents.

There are about 40 foster families in Dufferin County and a spokesperson for the local children's aid says 40 more are needed. There are over 100 children in the system in Dufferin County.

This week is Canadian Foster Family Week; so we offer recognition and thanks to local foster parents for their dedication and hope that their stories might encourage other people to offer similar care and commitment.